Up there with death and taxes, divorce is the last topic most people want to talk about. After all, ending a marriage can launch you into painful feelings of failure, disappointment, stress, and regret. While most people do recover from a divorce, the process can just take a cost on your own fitness as you face an expensive and lengthy legal process, move out of your home, renegotiate your position as good co-parent (if you have kids), divide up your social network, and rebuild your sense of self without your partner.

While the overall divorce rate fell 18% from 2008 to 2016, divorce remains an everyday reality: About 40% of marriages end in dissolution, and around 1 million couples cut the cord every year, per a 2015 data for the Psychosomatic Medicine.

Whilst each and every relationships stops for a variety of reasons (which could differ based which partner you ask), the new why trailing a divorce or separation is usually traced back again to an equivalent important issues that stop one relationships, of bad communication styles so you can a loss in trust in the newest aftermath of betrayal.

When you or your partner begins to see your marriage in a primarily negative light, you’re headed for trouble, says Shirin Peykar, a licensed ily therapist based in Sherman Oaks, CA. It can eventually become impossible to imagine your marriage improving, which in turn makes you feel hopelessness and more apt to dismiss, minimize, or even reframe positive interactions as negative, she explains.

So, whether you’re worried about a seven-year bleed or itch, feeling disrupted by empty colony syndrome, or simply feel like you’re growing apart, it helps to know what must be done making a married relationship past as well as what might bring yours down. Read on for nine of the most common reasons married couples end up calling it quits, according to relationship experts-and real women who have been there.

step 1. Too little love and affection

Can’t remember the last time you said I love you or held your partner’s hand? In a survey of 2,371 divorcees, nearly half blamed a lack of love and you may closeness, making it the most common reason for ending a study in the Journal away from Sex & Marital Cures.

In general, a lack of passion is a sign that your marriage is in serious trouble, says Terry Gaspard, a licensed clinical social worker and author of The newest Poljski lijepe Еѕene Remarriage Manual. Emotional and sexual intimacy go hand in hand, and without these elements, couples will often drift apart because they don’t feel connected.

My basic partner had been a beneficial person, however, he had been psychologically not available. Through the years, I realized one to impression alone relating to a married relationship was not fit for me, so i decided to score a separation. -Carol D., 64

2. Marrying too-young

While it might not be the first thing you think of, marrying young is a well-established risk factor for divorce. Case in point: Couples who got married as teens in the 1970s and 1980s were twice as likely to end up getting a divorce compared to those who married at later ages, per an post inside The new Journals from Gerontology.

Sometimes, the pressure to tie the knot at an arbitrary milestone (like after graduation or before 30) or the desire to have the Pinterest-perfect wedding can push young couples into committing to the wrong person, says Andrea Liner, Psy.D. a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of Flux Psychology in Denver, Colorado. As you mature, you might find that your relationship isn’t stable, you’re not as well-matched as you thought, or other options look more attractive.